Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Argh!
I have been wrestling with this issue for awhile now and decided I needed to get it off my chest. As we have been out and about (Ethan, Katelyn, and myself) during the week I have been occasionally peeved with other parents. My issue is that they are not watching their kid(s), which is fine, but when it affects my child, then it becomes a problem. It has happened multiple times now, in different environments. A few weeks ago we were at story time at a local bookstore. As we were waiting for the story time to begin I saw a mom sit her son (about 3 years old) on the bench in front of us. I didn't pay any attention after that, until the little boy tried to kick Ethan as he was coming down the stage. I looked around for the boy's mom, but she was nowhere to be seen. At least 5 minutes later, literally, she comes back with a cup of coffee. Really? Or the other day we were at an indoor playground and little kiddos were pushing Ethan off a toy car as Ethan was climbing in because they wanted it. Where were their parents? About 15 feet away in the cafe area chatting with their friends and drinking coffee. And today, which is why I'm so peeved, when we were at story time at a different local bookstore a boy about Ethan's age walked up to him and tried to kick him in the leg. Thankfully I was watching my child and moved Ethan out of the way before anything could happen. Everything I have read thus far has said to not discipline other people's children. I wholeheartedly agree, as I would never want a stranger disciplining my child, but where do you draw the line? Today I did say something to the little boy because I don't think it's okay to just sit there and let my child get hurt because of someone else's neglect. I do understand that children at this age do not necessarily understand that they are being aggressive, or that their actions can hurt someone else. That is not my issue. And I understand that my own child may act the same way one day. My problem is what do you do when parents aren't paying attention? If my child can't stick up for himself yet, shouldn't I? Ethan is a sponge and I know he picks up subtleties throughout the day. Shouldn't I be modeling correct behavior for him? I guess I'm just not sure what to do in those situations. I know what I would do if it was Ethan engaging in these behaviors, but I'm not going to idly stand by and let my child get run over.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
wow. that's such a tough situation to be in. ultimately i think you did the right thing today and i probably would have done the same. love you and i'll call you tomorrow!
Ooo! I sympathize! I've had to deal with that a little bit too and I've decided that I am the "crabby" mommy who disciplines other people's children and if they don't like it they can pay attention to their children so it doesn't happen to begin with.
I never yell or accuse, but I do try to bring the child's behavior to their parent's attention. e.g. "Ethan doesn't like being kicked. That makes him feel sad. Why don't you take turns instead." I've only done it a few times and usually parents are appreciative and sometimes they ignore me. I know one day it could get a little more confrontational, but I don't care. I don't want Isla to be walked all over literally or figuratively by other kids and I want to model appropriate conflict resolution.
That is my 2 cents. Good luck!
Good for you for sticking up for Ethan. It's hard having other bad moms out there, especially when it's YOUR kids that suffer for it.....
It is the age old problem of adults not wanting to take responsibility for their own actions or actions or their children. They expect others to do their dirty work for them. That is the problem with our schools today, parents think they are day care centers that provide descipline and then education for their kids.
You did the right thing, and I think with good role modeling Ethan and Katelyn will be able to handle themselves.
G-Pa
Post a Comment